Today is August 15, 2016, and it is hard for me to believe that a year ago, yesterday, I entered the hospital not knowing exactly what to expect. I knew that I had a large tumor that the ultrasound & CT scans showed was "cancerous" but we were praying that they were wrong and the tumor was benign. But what led up to this diagnosis???
Extreme fatigue (to the point that some days I could barely get out of bed and function), with fainting spells, weight gain, severe heartburn, and other medical issues started plaguing me on a regular basis. I was running daily (up to around 55 mi. each week and I was to the point I couldn't even run). I went to my primary care physician as well as my gynecologist and had countless blood-work and tests done. No big red flags came out of all the testing. I became very frustrated with going to the doctors and not getting answers and stopped going to the doctors.
I knew from some of the results from the testing that my Vitamin B12 & D counts were on the lower end of normal, my hormones were alittle out of wack, and that I had PCOS (Poly-cystic Ovary Syndrome).
For years I dealt with ovarian cysts rupturing as well as infertility issues. The pain had just been a fact of life and I just dealt with it because I am they type of person who doesn't like taking medications.
A year before my diagnosis, a cysts was discovered on my left ovary on an ultrasound. A few weeks later a second ultrasound was completed showing the cyst had decreased in size. (Between the two ultrasounds, I was in so much pain, my guess is, the cyst may have ruptured and shrank.)
I wasn't getting answers to my symptoms & I was feeling worse day by day. My self-esteem was suffering even more so with the weight gain.. Finally, I took matters in my own hands, assuming it had to deal with the PCOS, I did research on diets that would help the PCOS symptoms. At the beginning of 2015, I changed my diet and added vitamin supplements. After making these changes, I started seeing some improvement in my health. I started having a tad more energy (not much but a tad), I was less bloated, it was a start; so being stubborn, I assumed my symptoms were diet related.
July 30, 2015, at the age of 33, I had my worst “attack of heartburn” yet. Some of my symptoms included swelling up to the point that I appeared 6-8 months pregnant & could barely move. The pain was so unbearable that simple things, like breathing or sudden movements, like turning my head or moving my arms, hurt. There were numerous times over the course of two days I almost passed out & I was unable to eat or sleep. Thankfully, I finally listened to my body and saw the doctor, instead of waiting for the symptoms to subside. (If I wouldn't have seen the doctor I am sure things would have turned out way different). An Ultrasound & CT were completed and a grapefruit sized tumor on my left ovary was found and considered to be ovarian cancer.
It Is Well With My Soul
The song was written by Horatio Spafford who lost everything; he lost his business in the Great Chicago Fire, his son died, his wife and daughters left for Europe and their ship sunk and only survivor was his wife...But he kept on going.... and he wrote the hymn "It Is Well With My Soul". Mr. Spafford reminds me of Job (my hero!). Job went through sooooooo many trials but never turned his back on God. Job kept on pushing forward even when everyone told him to just give up!
For weeks leading up to the diagnosis (before I even knew I was sick), this song "It Is Well With My Soul " had been playing in my head. Everywhere I went, the song kept playing. I thought it had to deal with other events happening in my life.
When I went in for that ultrasound I had no idea that it the results were going to show anything more than that I had "gas" or that fifteen minutes after leaving the facility we would receive news that would change our lives. I wasn't worried during the ultrasound & I felt calm the whole time I think because God kept playing that hymn over and over in my head. At the time I didn't know why; I just assumed the hymn was just acting like an "earworm". When my primary care physician called and insisted that I come into her office, I refused making her tell me the news over the phone & I remained calm... I really believe God put that song in my head to prepare me for the journey.
Throughout the whole journey that hymn was with me (well because God was with me). It became such a staple that everyone around me pretty much knew about it and I ended up with a bunch of pictures and plaques with the words "It Is Well With My Soul". Now I have strategically placed around the house these plaques, so when I am having a hard time I see them and it really helps set my mind at ease. God is Good!
The Day of Surgery & Days After.
Our doctor knew we had hopes of another child, which was possible even removing that left ovary. Unfortunately, when he went to remove the tumor he discovered it had already ruptured (probably explaining the extreme pain that I felt, like someone was ripping my insides out which brought me to my knees the week before). Due to the severity, our doctor couldn't save the other ovary and had to do a hysterectomy with bilateral salpingo-oophorectomy. Which was heartbreaking at the time and still is if I think about it. (I always wanted a large family, if I had kids.)
BE STRONG AND COURAGEOUS. DO NOT BE TERRIFIED; DO NOT BE DISCOURAGED FOR THE LORD YOUR GOD WILL BE WITH YOU WHEREVER YOU GO. (JOSHUA 1:9)
Knowing we couldn't have any more children naturally was and is difficult but I am so thankful that God gave us three beautiful daughters. While I was in the hospital God reminded me that I have three amazing daughters and that they really are miracles. Knowing this helped with some of the guilt I was putting on myself and also helped get through the pain.
I was stuck in the hospital for almost a week. Yes, I was so ready to be at home. While in the hospital I was already "testing my boundaries"... They said that walking around the 5th floor would be good for me, so I had the nurses and the aids help me hobble around the 5th floor. There came a point I convinced them I could go on my own, I WAS FREE!!!! I probably walked a hundred laps. All I wanted to do was go home and I was going to prove it!
I think it was the 4th or 5th morning in the hospital when my doctor realized what he was up against:A stubborn bullheaded woman... It was early in the morning and I couldn't sleep so I asked for help to get up to walk. Not only was I bored and unable to sleep, I was going to prove I could manage at home. I probably had been walking laps for a good 30 min. (I normally walked until I couldn't walk any longer or I got too dizzy. Of course didn't let them know I was dizzy). Well my doctor came to check on me, and couldn't find me, OOPS... You should have seen his face when he found out that I had been walking all morning.
I joked with Jason and my nurses that this must my "Tracking Devise" since I was obviously a "flight risk" and must have been the reason they put this on my wrist.
Road to Recovery
Recovery period was rough... Lots of pain but I got through it with lots of help and support from prayer warriors, as well as family and friends support!
I went through a three-month chemotherapy program. It wasn't fun. There were definitely some rough patches. But on the bright side Jason and I had a "date" day every Monday. Those months of chemo definitely brought us all closer and made us realize our priorities. But praise God, I am cancer free!
It is crazy, I received hundreds of Get Well and Thinking of You cards and NOT ONE matches... How does that happen? (It has to be a God thing!)
AWARENESS
Lately I feel my mission is to make sure that everyone becomes more AWARE. If you are reading this please don't be stubborn like me & have regular checkups. Listen to your body! You may not have "ovarian cancer symptoms" it maybe symptoms dealing with your heart, or with migraines, or a knee injury for instance; but if you feel something is not right, keep pushing for answers! Make sure you don’t skip having your physicals. Your life is worth it!
Some Ovarian Cancer Symptoms:
In early
stages, there may be no symptoms for ovarian cancer and the symptoms of ovarian
cancer can be easily confused with other conditions.
These
symptoms include: • Vague abdominal pain and pelvic discomfort. • A feeling of
being bloated or noticing that clothes don't fit as well as they once did. •
Loss of appetite or feeling full even after a light meal. • Gas and/or
indigestion that persists over time. • Unusual weight loss or gain. • A change
in bowel habits, or a frequent urge to urinate. • Unexplained fatigue or back
pain. • Unusual bleeding or discharge. • Pain during intercourse. • Shortness
of breath. (If you have symptoms such as these that won't go away, and cannot
be explained by other reasons, report them to your doctor.)
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