Isaiah 40:31 NIV but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
When I was sick last year, an anonymous person(s) sent me a stack cards (approximately the size of business cards) with scripture verses to help me though my journey. These all these verses incorporated my name in them (Ex. Though the mountains vanish, My unending love will never leave you, Jackie. Isaiah 54:10 or I will cause all things to ultimately work for your good, Jackie. Romans 8:28). Daily, I would go through the stack; sometimes a bunch of the verses would move me and other times just one verse would stick with me that day. These cards were and still are such a blessing to me. So THANK YOU who ever sent them!
The verse Isaiah 40:31, is one of my favorites & was one of those verses in the stack. When I had or am having a hard time, this verse tends to pop into my head.
When I think of eagles, I see a large beautiful bird, a bird that should have a hard time flying, but eagles soar or glide through the sky so high making it look so effortless. So the analogy of soaring on wings like eagles brings such hope to me.
Some Difficult times...
Honestly, the last few weeks have been difficult and well discouraging. I have still been struggling with constant migraines. After this second round of the thirty-one Botox injections, I was positive I was going to have a successful outcome. Unfortunately, yet again, they haven't seemed to have made much of a difference. These migraines drive me "mad" at times; I just want to rip my head off my neck. The nausea, brain fog, dizziness, as well as the pounding (are just few of my symptoms) can be trying and well exhausting. Even just "sucking-up" the pain or the other symptoms, can be just as exhausting as the migraines themselves. Sometimes I feel that not only am I suffering but I feel as though my family and those around me are as well.
Then I have been watching a woman, my grandmother, who was in decent health a few months ago, suddenly get sick, end up in the hospital, and then be transferred to a nursing home. It was almost a year to the date of my cancer diagnosis when she ended up being diagnosed herself; unfortunately at this point there is nothing that can be done for her, other than making her comfortable. Over these last two months, she looks as though she has aged 30 years. Watching her lay helpless only able to barely talk & communicate, breaks my heart; especially knowing that it is just a matter of time before her life here on earth will be over.
 |
| (I found this tank and it is so "fitting" at times. It is perfect for those moments that I needed a reminder not to give up... It's one of my favorite tanks & I have had a few people stop me to tell me they love the verse!) |
On top of all this, I am adding more and more to my prayer list for injuries or sickness, a well as hearing more and more people around me being diagnosed with the dreaded "C" word. It seems like my prayer list is growing rather than shrinking. My heart is just aching for each of these men and women! I just wish I could fix it!
And then there is everything else that life entails...
As I feel myself "growing weary", and questioning God... I am reminded by the verse to focus my eyes on the Lord; He is our strength!
I love the analogy about running and not growing weary. By now, you obviously know I enjoy running. If you run, you may have had that feeling at the beginning or middle of your run that you can't run any further; then "BAM," all the sudden a boost of energy hits you & you have the feeling you can conquer anything! So basically when I am weary God helps give me the strength to keep going!
I'm NOT Going to Grow Weary or Faint
As I have stated before, I have always struggled with self-esteem issues. So about a year ago I started writing inspirational quotes as well as verses on a dry-erase board, a chalkboard, as well as the mirrors in my master-bathroom to help remind me of what was really important. Sometimes these quotes I write deal with self-esteem, they remind me to be a better mom or wife, or they just maybe a verse or inspirational saying that hits me that day...
Well the other week I walked into my bathroom and saw that our youngest daughter had drawn a cross on my mirror as well as stick figures (five of them representing our family) with hearts that said "I love my family". Then this past Monday, I walked in and saw her drawing again; at least I thought she was drawing until I saw this!
She asked me for some help with the spelling and the verse references. But WOW!!! Melt My Heart!
It is awesome how God works. He used my youngest daughter at the perfect time. I needed these two reminders! These two verses I had been really drilling myself with and I know she saw my notes around the house and my tank with the one verse on it, but little did she know I needed to see them again and really needed to focus on them. (That's thing I like about using the dry-erase markers on the mirror; while getting ready, when you look into the mirror you have to focus & look past the writing. Numerous times I end up reading it before I can focus on the subject behind the writing).
So when I just want to say forget it, I am tired of seeing these specialists, I might as well just suck-up the pain because nothing is going to change; I have to remind myself "I will run and not grow weary" and " I am going to run with endurance the race that is before me." I am not going to give up on these headaches, I know that God is the ultimate healer. Now, is just not my time for whatever reason!?!? I just need to remain patient, pray, and keep doing my part in trying to find answers.
And as I keep going to see my grandmother, I am going try to take-in these last moments with her. As I have flashbacks of her in her younger healthier years which makes me both happy and sad at the same time, I have to remember at least God has blessed me with having a great family...And he has blessed me these last few weeks with hearing her continually say the heartfelt "I love you" or "You know I love my family" (if you know my grandmother, you know she really didn't say those words freely; although though I knew she did). I at least know that when her time comes to leave this earthly home, someday we will see her again; but watching someone go through this isn't easy.I feel like the more I pray for a world free of cancer, the more people around me are affected by it. But again, I am reminded not to grow weary & to continue to pray, to continue "to run with endurance this race before us", to remind others to take care of themselves & stress the importance for routine check-ups, to bring awareness to others because their life is important, and to remind those going through the hard times that sometimes it may not seem like there is going to be an end to the trials, but to put trust in God and he will help them through it all.
I am going to put my trust in God...
(The song above is one of my favorites. It is on my inspirtational playlist. Below are the lyrics.)
My Revival
I will run and not grow weary
I will walk, I will not faint
I will soar on wings like eagles
Find my rest in Your everlasting name
You are my revival
Jesus on You I wait
I'll lean on Your promise
You will renew my strength
I will run and not grow weary
I will walk, I will not faint
I will soar on wings like eagles
Find my rest in Your everlasting name
You are my revival
Jesus on You I wait
I'll lean on Your promise
You will renew my strength
Oh, You are my revival
Jesus on You I wait
I'll lean on Your promise
You will renew my strength
Oh, You are my revival
Jesus on You I wait
I'll lean on Your promise
You will renew my strength
Oh, You…
No comments:
Post a Comment